▼TECKTONIK▼

hello readers,
i dont really wanna tell you about todae what i have done... i just wanna tell you how i feel... i'm feeling like im a stupid ass as i just realise that i need to let her go... she dont think that i am her real friend... she is just trying to push me away... my heart has this huge hole and she is just making it worst... i wont be another stupid mother fucker... in too deep in depression as this is the worst feeling i had had in my life as i just let her go so easily into another guy's hand... i had done so much and i totally lose it into a single time... i really want to die now as this life is really hurting me so badly... i have pointless friends who just tease me for their pleasure so i'm going to change my attitude and just going to be the silent and deep one... no more fun and enthusiastic guy anymore... i'm drowning in my sorrow right now typing this out is causing pain to my heart, and i dont think i can keep up with this life... my friends hate me pierce but i pierce because i prefer pain than emotionally pain... they really wont be there when i really need them and when i dont need them they will tease me... they called it "joke" but i call it "teasing" they dont knw how to put jokes and that really twist me up.... they really wont like it if i am angry but they are the cost of my misery and this had been going for 2 years so i cant really wait until they push me to the max i will expose them... and now i felt that this world is trying to make me kill myself and now i have alot of people i wanna hate but i am not going to fucking hate them... this "girl" i have really had this huge crush on her for such a long period of time and she is damn fucking blind to even reallise... i cant help it if she dont like me back but at least she knw...(depressed)... i was the only person who care for her and all of her friends totally lose hope on her and i'm the person standing out... can't really believe how painful it was letting a person i love so much go... i still can't believe i fall for her hard... and this heart is going to soon be empty and i can't really feel anything else besides pain, sadness and emptiness... i'm sorry if i had blame you for everything by letting you go and now you will always be alone i'm just fucking sorry....(sorry mind my strong language)...
"i've hurt my self by loving you" and that sentence means alot to me and i wont let it go after this scar you left in me... whenever i saw you i will cry in my heart and drown in all of the tears in it as well.... the only people i knw that really help me is ANA AND PEAR PEAR thnk you for your concern i really do and you will always be there for me... so i will do my best to repay you.... im sorry i couldn't continue i'm too sad to type...